I Feel Like I M Not Here

I go to bed late and on weekdays i wake up early.

Its actually quite scary sometimes. I actually feel like i m not there. I see everything and i do things but i feel like i m not actually doing it. When i stand up or try to walk i feel like im levitating like my legs arent there.

I have this feeling lately that i m not here. Then i come home and fall asleep and wake up again which makes it. With that came the dizziness detachment from reality everything feels like im dreaming my vision is blurry like in a dream often i also feel like im underwater like i have this strange pressure in ears and i hear muffled sounds. I tend to feel like i need to have control of all situations so when i feel like i don t have control i feel uncomfortable.

Well i m not alone in my life i have a great family and friends who really love me even i have a perfect and caring boyfriend but always i feel something is missing in my hurt i feel something is not right here yes there is a punch of people around me and i pretend to be happy but i feel alone in myself always i think i m different from all this people well yes i m a deep thinker feel. These thoughts of not being real have made me freak out so bad that i literally hyperventilated and passed out. I feel like reality is slipping away from me. In situations where i don t feel part of the group i feel isolated.

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I feel like i m not here tunnel vision excessive tiredness dizziness etc it s not diabetes or thyroid issue anxiety and panic attacks after a bad high anxiety and depression for a week or 2 after drinking confusion. Feels like lump in my throat and feel like i cant breathe i always feel like i am dying feel like im going insane help. Feel like i m breaking down i feel like i am stoned all the time like living in a dream 24 7 i know it s been asked many times before but i don t feel like i m really here. I m always paranoid and always feel like i m being watched even when i m alone.

Also if this is anything to do with it i ve only been getting about 5 6. I feel like dying every day. I m trying to figure out why i have this. I could be doing something such as walking through the mall and then i ll realize woah i m actually here this is actually happening and i m not dreaming.

I know it s been asked many times before but i don t feel like i m really here. So for awhile i ve been feeling like im not really here i can be doing something with someone and i ll just start to feel as if it s not really happening like i m watching it through the eyes of somebody else. Is it a sign of depression or something. I don t know what it could be.

I usually get 5 hours of sleep if im lucky. Almost always especially in public situations i feel as though i m in a constant dream like state.